When someone you love loses someone that they love… writing messages of condolences can be tough. You never want to say the wrong thing and make grief worse. At the same time, you never want to say too little and seem indifferent. If you are having trouble saying exactly what you want to say, these four tips can help you to create a card that expresses your heart.
Speak from the Heart
When someone passes away, it can be difficult to know how to say exactly what you want to say and how to say it in the right manner. This is why it is best to speak from the heart. Be honest. If you are not sure what to say, say it. “I wish I knew what to say to bring you comfort… but because I know there are no words, I will simply say that I love you, I care and I am always here for you whenever you need me.”
Offer to Help… Really
Everyone says “Let me know what I can do to help,” but very few follow through. This can leave family members feeling uncomfortable about asking for what they need. Instead, make it easy to ask for help when the family has had time to settle in and realize what they need. You could say something like this instead — “Please call me at ________ and let me know when I can bring over dinner. I can stay and sit a while or just drop it off and go. Whatever you are up to.”
Make it Personal
It is a wonderful idea to add a happy memory that the two of you have shared or even one that the person receiving the card might not even know about. For example, you might tell about a kind deed or a funny story or even a trait that you admired about the loved one who has passed.
Add a Quote or Bible Verse
Quotes are a great addition to messages of condolence. They often say what you may not be able to say. Consider something poignant from your favorite author or something religious like a Bible verse which can always bring comfort on dark days.
From speaking your heart to offering help when its needed, it is not always what you say that matters most. It is the thought that counts and even if you miss the mark, simply showing you care by remembering to reach out can say it all.